Grown Girl's Rule #3 - Build-A-Bear is for Kids!

Good Morning Blessings,

I know you're wondering why Rule #3 is "Build-A-Bear is for kids." You're thinking "I already know that!" But if you did, you wouldn't have the Build-A-Bear lying in your bed right now or meeting you for dinner after work. You know the one I'm talking about. He's about 6ft tall with that smooth brown skin, million dollar smile, a chest that makes you bite your bottom lip and...no job, no ambition. You're sending out his resumes or asking Uncle Jimmy to get him a job in his firm's mailroom. Meanwhile, he's home watching Maury. Ladies, that's your Build-A-Bear. Or maybe it's the other side of the coin. Maybe his resume is perfect, 800 credit score, no kids, "an ivy leaguer" that graduated top of his class. He can talk the Dow Jones all day but thinks Jim Jones is Uncle Jimmy's son. He wears his pants too tight, and I'm not talking about skinny jeans, and could stand to cut that low fro down to a caesar. So you strongly suggest your brothers or male friends invite him out, hoping that even just a little swagga will rub off. You may as well be dating William from Girlfriends...and he's your Build-A-Bear. We've all dated a Build-A-Bear or two, maybe more. Heck, some of us married ours. Making it work usually takes a great deal of effort on the part of the woman. When you're in your early 20's getting your bumps and bruises, you don't know any better. As my little cousin says, she can't wait to be done with the "dumb 20s." But when your 30 plus and should be dating with a purpose you have no time for projects. Don't be fooled by that "30s are the new 20s" revolution. You do not have an extra 10 years to be dumb all over again!

So why does it seem like we're always attracted to Build-A-Bears? A fella recently said to me that when a woman starts dating a man, she already knows all the ways she can make him better; help his career, make him a better dresser, etc. He continued to say that it's natural because God created women to be help mates. For the most part I agree. If man could do it all on their own, God wouldn't have created and designed us so. A tweak here or there is almost always necessary. So, go ahead. Help a brother out. But remember, the operative word is HELP. We are meant to be helpers, NOT architects or demolition specialists. You need to leave the major overhauls to the Creator himself.

Every attribute a man needs to be who he was created to be is already inside of him. As women our job is to cultivate, stimulate and motivate what is already making its way to the forefront; first as a mother and then as a mate. But ladies, if his attributes are 6 feet deep in bedrock, he's grown and you ain't his mama...uh, give it up. And yes, there is someone for everyone. Who said the someone is you? There is someone thinks that nerdy afro is cute; someone who is happy enough just laying on that chest. But if you know good and well that after about 30 days either one of those would get on your last nerve...KEEP IT MOVING!

There are exceptions. I'm not talking about the brother who will ask you to help with his resume and actually look for a job once it's done. Or the brother that will work 2 or 3 jobs until he can get that business going or buy that investment property. Maybe you have the brother that is educated but can take it from the boardroom to the block and back at will (Now, that's what I want...Don't you?) There are some good brothers out there who at first glance might not be so appealing. But if neither are your cup of tea, that's fine. Ladies, we are very intelligent beings. We know when its futile. Whether or not we are honest about it is one thing, but we know. Woman's intuition is not a myth. It is the spirit given to us by our Heavenly Father, just in case our earthly father should fall short in teaching us what a man should be and how a man should treat us. All you need to do is listen to that voice. Sometimes it's a whisper. Other times it sounds as if it's coming through a bull horn. Either way, when that voice says "Step Away from the Build-A-Bear!" do just that. Put you money back in your purse, clear your calendar of his "to-do" list and walk away. Remember silly girl, Build-A-Bear is for kids!

Enjoy. Comment. Be Blessed!