People have always said that I have a old soul. I say that it comes from years of gaining wisdom, sitting in the corner of my mother's kitchen wrapped in a blanket, in a fetal position in my favorite chair listening to my mother and my aunts discussing everyday life from different perspectives. My mother used to say children are to been seen and not heard. So, I remained unheard but at the same time, I heard everything!
Thank God that I have been able to recall those words of wisdom at the right times in my life and the lives of my family and friends. Anyone that knows me knows that when you just want someone to listen and not say anything, I am NOT the girl to call! But when you are ready to hear some sound advice, the truth, what I would have wanted someone to tell me, or to tell my daughters, I AM the sister to call! My words are said with love and care, straight forward and to the point...but with all the love I have in my heart for my sisters. The Lord made me a lot of things, but before anything else, He made me a girl. And that I am now, a girl, a Grown Girl with a set of Rules for life that I would love to share with all my sisters out there. And at the same time, I am certain you all can teach me a thing or two...
So, welcome to my blog. Post, enjoy and Be Blessed!
7 comments:
hello miss grown girl! i have a question 4u...how honest should two people in a relationship be? should couples tell each other everything? where do you think the line should be drawn between openness and privacy? ok that's kinda 3 questions. well anyway, what say you?
hey Tiff i think it is great that youve created your blog. Question why is so hard to forgive and close the chapter when you've been hurt? Before i was always the type to erase a person from my life the minute that i felt taken advantage of, but as i mature spiritual i have experimented with forgiveness.... It is hard i pray everyday but sometimes i wanna cut somebody for what they ve done to me years ago.... any words of wisdom
Melissa...there is a big difference between "honesty" and "telling all your business!" So, yes, be absolutely honest about things that can have an affect on your relationship but DO NOT tell all your business. God can forgive you of your past and although men were created in His image, that is one trait that they did not get! Men, Christian or otherwise, have a hard time "getting over" the parts of your life that they didn't "get" (to share). And men seem to have never heard that old adage "don't ask questions that you really don't want the answer to!" You can bet that they will ask. Learn to strategically answer without answering. So, if there is no impact on your relationship, save your best kept secrets for your sisters and/or girlfriends (and even then you have to be careful, unfortunately). As your relationship progresses, there will be things you share, incrementally. Once he is truly, head over heels in love with God first, and then you, none of that will matter anyway. He will love you for...1) who you were because it was the catalyst for who you are now 2)who you are now because that's what peaked his attention and 3) who you will become when the two of you will grow together to your full potential in love and life!
Be Blessed!
Mrs. Allen-Hubbard...I think that the hardest thing about forgiveness is that it just doesn't seem fair, right? I mean, you hurt me and I'm supposed to just let you off the hook? Uh, I don't think so! But let's look at a few things...
First of all, forgiving someone doesn't mean forgetting. And by forgetting I mean allowing that person (or another) to do the same thing to you again. If we drive down a particular street and hit a pot hole, we don't stop going down that street. We just avoid the pot hole next time...we will swerve into the other lane to not mess up out rims and tires. Why not the same behavior when protecting our hearts? So, if someone is not mature enough to be in your space, DON'T let them in! Or in the least, limit their time in your space. You cannot heal from a circumstance when you are still in it. Sometimes, it takes separation to heal. The "hurter" may not change their behavior but you, the "hurtee," need time to change your reaction to their behavior.
In many cases, the people closest to us are the ones that hurt us so much that we're unwilling to forgive; because we've expected much more than that from them. Honestly, if they weren't close to us, they would have never been in a position to hurt us in the first place. And although it doesn't seem fair, not forgiving them hurts you more than it hurts them. While we may be walking around mad at them, angry, upset, wanting some kind of revenge, those emotions are eating us up inside (whether we know it or not). In the meanwhile back at the ranch, they are carrying on just as they have always, not having a clue what's going on with you. And if they did know, would they even care? Girl, use that energy somewhere else!
Don't make their issues yours. It is their own insecurity, low self esteem, or misery that causes a "hurter" to do the harm they do. Holding on to it only causes their issues to become yours!
Last, but certainly not least, Psalms 51 (Message version)...I had to read this this morning myself and it definitely touched my heart as I remember that God gives us what we give to others. If for no other reason than that we want forgiveness, not just for us but for our children and their children, then we must obey and forgive. Trust me, to give and receive forgiveness is not a one day thing...its a prayer that must be prayed daily as there will always be someone to forgive and something to be forgiven for.
Be Blessed
I would like to comment on what Mrs.Hubbard said about forgiving. It's easy to tell someone u for give them, but deep down inside that's not really how you feel.so what i do is just get that person out of my life.The Bible says to love your ememies,however if i were to say that God would KNOW that i was not telling the truth because I don't.
Anonymous...Forgiveness has less to do with telling a person your forgive them and more to do with what you feel in your heart. And you're right, He does know your heart, better than you do. No change happens over night. It is a process. Forgiveness is change and therefore, it is a process too. But if the Creator, the ruler of everything, He is above all, can find it in his heart to forgive me time and time again, then who I am to not forgive others. Now, I am not saying that it is easy. What I am saying is that it's possible. There is one other thing that forgiveness is...freedom. Freedom from hurt and pain, anger and sorrow, freedom from the past. Don't you want to be free? I certainly do.
Thanks Laadies for the advice.... Its hard to break bad habits... Then i look at my own mother who relly let the spirit of unforgiveness fester in her spirit and it literally ate away at her. I m happy to say that i have been better and less stressed ever since i have tried to forgive... Notice i did say "tried" sometimes i still wanna fight lol.... but i pray that voice out of my head!!!!!
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